Understanding Love - True Love

Ever had a time in life where you thought you were in love, but really found out you were not?   What told you that the feelings you were having were not truly feelings of love?  Did this experience make you question what love truly looked like?  Were you hurt?  Did you want to give up on love?

I think I can fairly say that many of us have had a bad experience with love at one time or another.  But should our experiences determine what love really is?  Should our experiences in this world with love really affect what love truly looks like?

Before I delve into this question, I want to share with you a story of a young man named Adrian.   Adrian, was a young scrapping farm boy who lives in the Midwest.   If you noticed I used past and present verb tenses within the same statement.  The purpose being is that Adrian still lives in the Midwest, but not as the boy he once was. 
You see, it was during a varsity football game where Adrian was hurt.  He suffered severe brain damage which left him in a helpless state, no longer being able to care for himself. 

Here was a boy who once spoke clearly, but could now only grunt and smile.  Here was a boy who once fed himself, but could now only be fed by someone else.  Here was a boy who once drove farm equipment to assist with farm duties, but could now only have someone push him in his wheelchair.  Here was a boy who went from being a vibrant, varsity athlete to a boy who needed “round the clock” care in order to survive.

I tell you this story not to focus on the accident and the state of Adrian.   I tell you this story to show what love truly looks like.   I tell you this story because it is through Adrian’s family that we will see what God’s love truly looks like.

You see, it took a freak football accident to help Adrian’s family realize what God’s love is really like.   How did this accident bring them to this realization?  It showed them what love truly looks like because now they had to serve Adrian in every capacity, and all he could offer in return was a bright smile or some form of acknowledgement. 

What they saw was that the love they were showing Adrian was truly unconditional.  They were showing Adrian the same kind of love God showed them.  They were showing Adrian the same kind of love God shows us.  And by loving their son, their brother, unconditionally, it brought them closer together than they had ever been before.

I know it doesn’t make much sense that loving someone without expecting anything in return would bring Adrian's family closer together, but that’s exactly what it did.

You know, we’re told by many an expert what love truly is, yet it falls way short of the true love that God wants His children to understand and live out.  So to truly understand this love – the love of God – we have to follow as Paul states “the most excellent way.”  You know, you can’t get any higher, any bigger, any better than “most excellent.”   And Paul wrapped up the most excellent way, the understanding of true love, into 13 verses (1 Corinthians 13: 1-13).

In this reading are a series of characteristics/principles that God wants to be evident in a person’s life, especially a follower of Jesus. 

Paul opened up 1 Corinthians by saying, and this is my paraphrase to verses 1-3, “I don’t care Christians of Corinth what great things you do.  They could be the most magnificent things in this world – you could prophesy of things in the future, you could speak in tongues other than your own so that men and angels could understand, you could use your powers to heal and to move mountains, you could give generously of yourself and of your money to others – but if they are not done in love, they mean nothing.”

In simple terms, love must encompass what you do or it means nothing.

How am I supposed to let love encompass everything I do?  What does this actually look like?  

Here are some examples:

·        It looks like when you’re very ill in bed and someone takes care of your every need so that you can rest and get better.

·        It looks like when you’re standing in line at the grocery store and someone with more items allows you to go first. 

·        It looks like when you give your boss an idea that will help the company and you’re not worried if you will get the credit and recognition for the idea.

What God was saying through Paul is this, if you’re doing great things for your own self-interest and the glory you will receive, God sees it and counts it as zero – nadda – nothing. 

·        Love must encompass what you do. 

·        It must be done with the other person in mind.

·        In other words, how will it benefit the other person, not me?

The second principle comes from 1 John 4: 20.  John, the beloved apostle, said it this way, “If anyone says, ‘I love God’, yet hates his brother, he is a liar.  For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.”

It can’t get any clearer than that.  John shared with us that hate, disdain for another, detesting someone; cannot be in our vocabulary.  It’s not saying everyone will be our friend, but even then Jesus said, “Love your enemies.”

Now why would John make such a point?  Because hate truly contradicts who God is – fore God first loved us, but had every reason to hate us for turning our back on Him through our sin.

So understand this:  Love cannot involve hate.  If it does, it’s a lie.

Now when it comes to love, we often have our own ideas.  And our ideas often are derived from sources that are common to our everyday experiences.  But keep in mind: 

·        Love is not what the TV teaches. 

·        Love is not what music lyrics teach. 

·        They both tell us that love is romantic – only romantic. 

·        They both tell us that love is meeting someone you like, and when you’re ready, give yourself physically – just make sure you’re protected. 

·        They both tell us that love is doing what is best for you. 

·        They both tell us that love isn’t love until you’ve found the person who is your soul mate.

It’s no wonder that this definition of love has led to many broken hearts, unplanned pregnancies, STD’s, adulterous relationships, etc. in our culture.  It’s no wonder we don’t know what love truly is or looks like.

But if we want what God truly desires in love, we’ll look to His word - His wisdom.      And as we focused our attention on two big ideas from His word, we see that God’s intent for love is not romanticism, but rather a focus on committing ourselves to others.

  

Lost

You ever lost something - something of value?  What did it cause you to do?  panic, fret, and worry?  search frantically?  give up? etc.

Losing something is never fun.  You've got to retrace your steps.  You've got to wrack your brain to try and recall where you may have lost the item.  In other words, it's an extremely difficult undertaking that can often be strenuous - both mentally and physically draining.

Jesus spoke of a woman who lost a coin (Luke 15: 8-10), who searched frantically and carefully in trying to find it.  She literally had no external light in her home due to the way homes were built in Jesus' day, so she had to light a lamp and literally sweep the entire house hoping the coin would appear.  And even though coins take on small value for us in this culture, I clearly understand why she would go to such degrees in finding this coin.  It had extreme value! 

There a couple reasons for its value that we don't often look at when reading this parable:  first, the coin, the drachma, was worth approximately a day's wage (imagine if you lost $100 today and you knew you needed it to pay the electric bill this month), and the second, she was a woman (husbands and sons were the source of income and care for women in those days).  Though Jesus does not make it clear whether this woman was married or widowed, you get the sense she is under extreme pressure to find this coin.  She better find it for fear of a husband's disappointment that a hard-earned day's wage was now gone, or she better find it for fear that this lost coin's value could never be earned again since she, a widowed woman, could never make such a wage in the marketplace. In either case, we know the importance of this coin because Jesus does tell us that when it is found, she calls together her friends and neighbors to celebrate the occasion.

I just recently lost my wallet.  And though a day's wage wasn't in it, I was still sick to my stomach knowing that my whole identity was wrapped up in that little black billfold I carried in my pocket on a daily basis.  And so you begin to worry that someone has found it - that someone might use the information in it to purchase items, or worse yet, steal your identity. 

So I prayed and began to search the cars, the house from top to bottom - every nook and cranny, even questioning my daughter if she had placed it somewhere (she's taken things before and made them her own).  Still no wallet.  And as I'm searching diligently for about a week, I'm reminded of the story above that Jesus taught when questioned by the Pharisees and the teachers of the law of why He was hanging out with tax collectors and sinners. 

My search for my lost wallet reminded me that Jesus' true desire is to find those who are lost - to find those who need to be restored into a relationship with God through the Son.  My search helped me to recall that God celebrates when a lost soul is found, and that He diligently seeks to find those who are lost.  He's not a God of those who think they are righteous, but rather a God of those who come to their senses and realize they need to be found.

My wallet is still lost.  I thank God no one at this point has tried to use my information illegally.  I still don't know if it was lost publicly and found, but never returned.  I still don't know if it's discretely hidden in and around my home.  I still don't know if it was stolen from my vehicle as I picked up my son from all star baseball practice.  What I do know is this, I tried my best in finding it.

But, I've moved on from trying to find it.  The credit cards have been cancelled.  A new driver's license is in the mix.  I still hope to find it - that it would miraculously appear - but I'm not going out of my way to search for it any longer.

The good news though is that Jesus never quits the search.  He'll continue to search for lost souls until the Father in Heaven says it's time for Him to return for His bride.  I only wish I had that resolve.  But really, what's a wallet in light of eternity?  You're right.  Nothing!

So thank you Jesus for making me realize what's important in this life.   Thank you Jesus for helping me to understand your purpose clearer - to bring lost souls into a saving relationship with you.  Thank you Jesus for allowing me to lose my wallet so that I might always be reminded of your passion for the lost.